Often people who live with an alcoholic spend much if, not all, of their time looking after the drinker. They worry about when ever he will arrive home, even if he will arrive home. They worry about what condition he’ll be in when he arrives home, whether he will maintain a good mood or going bad for a fight.
It is time to modify that situation. It is the perfect time to, not only accept invitations, although also to issue a couple for yourself. It is time to end hiding away and to stop being secretive about the conditions that you are facing. It is time to stop living in the shadow of the alcoholic and start living for yourself.
On the one side it protects you from the shame and stigma in the problem drinking behaviour. It hides the worst with the anguish, arguments and fear but it also cuts you faraway from the very people that can help, your pals.
There may be something that you have got always wanted to do, by way of example you may have wanted to learn more about working with computers, or learn about photography or learn to paint. These include things that you can do for you.
There is real benefits to having ones own life. If you focus on something other than your alcohol means then you will use less time worrying about him and his habits. Research suggests that being departed to fend for himself can bring the reality of your partner’s problem home to him.
Most people who live with an alcoholic find themselves losing touch with their friends. It does not usually happen quickly, in its place it happens over time just like you refuse first one celebration invitation, then another. Soon there is no invitations to refuse any more.
One thing that may help is to always have a life of your own. Several people who live with alcoholics do, you may have been covering for your alcoholic and making sure that the world does not know of your problems. This wall in secrecy is a double edged sword.
It is a marvel that anyone living with an alcoholic has time to undertake anything else, other than see to the drinker. Organisations such as Al-anon rightly suggest that anyone exactly who lives with an alcoholic needs to detach. That is they must stand back from the alcohol and let him lead his own life.
Your self esteem will increase and your depression and fear levels will decrease. Needing interests outside the home and also the alcoholic will make you even more interesting and will reduce your numbers of resentment. It will help you to produce a support network that could retain you when things happen to be difficult.
Imagine worrying about him significantly less, stopping clearing up after your ex boyfriend and no longer making excuses for him and generally letting him experience the aftermaths of his drinking. Predetermined this is not an easy thing to do, particularly if you have been caught up for his drinking for some years.
Lastly it will lower the fear of being left exclusively by yourself if the relationship finally becomes unsustainable. So if you live with an alcoholic make sure that you have a very good life for yourself and that you have a network of friends and family that can support you when you need it.